CEO CHAT with Rebecca White

February 9, 2012

1.       February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. What are some of the obstacles that prevent teens from getting help?

Teens face the same obstacles that many survivors of domestic violence experience – fear, coercion, isolation, lack of transportation, concern that they won’t be believed or that they are to blame for the violence, and the fact that many simply don’t know that help is available and only a phone call away. In addition to the common barriers that we see many adult survivors struggle with, teens also face two particular barriers. 

Sadly, the first additional obstacle is parents. Many teens don’t seek help because they don’t want their parents to find out. Teens who are the victims of dating violence are often afraid to tell their parents about their partners’ violent actions because they don’t want to disappoint them or because they don’t want their parents to question their judgment and maturity. Unfortunately, these fears can be justified because sometimes as parents, we do react strongly – for all the right reasons, of course – we naturally want to protect our children. But our reactions can have exactly the opposite effect and can keep our kids from coming to us when they need us most or from seeking help from other trusted adults. As difficult as it is, we need to let our teens know that they can talk to us. We need to introduce the issue early on, during “teachable moments.” And we need to listen without judgment. We also need to let our kids know that there are services available to help them (or their friends) if they find themselves in a violent situation and are not comfortable talking to us. At the end of the day, it’s about making sure they are safe. Whether it comes from parents or other trusted adults, we want our kids to have the safety and support they need. To learn more about what you can do as a parent to really protect your teens, check out a couple of great online resources at www.breakthecycle.org or www.loveisrespect.org.

The second obstacle to seeking help for many teens in abusive relationships is that they have no idea that they are in abusive relationships. Look around, images of unhealthy relationships abound in popular culture. Teens may be unable to discern between healthy and unhealthy relationships based on their limited life experiences and the images that our culture bombards them with daily. He or she might quite understandably mistake a partner’s obsessive control as a sign of devotion. As adults (parents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, educators, etc.), we can help them question what they see in popular culture and help them set guidelines for developing healthier relationships. The same resources I mention above are also helpful in these conversations.

2.       The 24^th annual Race Against Violence is coming up on March 3^rd. Why is this such an important event for the Women’s Center?

We raise two extremely valuable things during the Race Against Violence – community awareness and financial support that ensures our life-saving, life-changing services are available to those affected by domestic and sexual violence. When thousands of runners, walkers and donors coming together for the Race Against Violence, it makes a powerful statement to our community that violence is not tolerated and also, that it is important to offer services that help individuals affected by domestic and sexual violence move their lives forward. The funds raised go toward providing shelter, counseling, and advocacy so that our clients can build lives free from the effects of the violence they’ve suffered. It also supports our community education and primary prevention programs that seek to end the violence before it ever starts. AND, on a personal note, it's extra special for me this year because my son Jackson and his girlfriend Robin will be coming from Austin and New Orleans respectively to run in the race – yay!

3.       The FBI recently altered its 80 year-old definition of rape to include male victims. What are your thoughts on this change?

It’s about time! What took so long?? If we want to make progress in ending sexual violence, we’ve got to get past myths and misconceptions. We’ve got to live in the real world. The new definition will help in two ways. First, it will facilitate more consistent and comprehensive reporting by local law enforcement entities to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports, resulting in more reliable, accurate national crime statistics. Rape is already the most under-reported of violent crimes, so having more data and more accurate data should help in getting a better grasp of the real numbers involved. When we better understand the true scope and dimensions of the crime and once we gain a clearer picture of its victims, then we can begin to debunk the myths that surround rape and appropriately support those affected.

4.       Can you share your reaction to being named one of Houston’s 50 Most Influential Women by Houston Woman Magazine?

Sure. It’s a huge honor and, when I consider the other 49 women on the list, it’s also very humbling! I think it’s fair to say that my “influence” comes directly from serving in a leadership position at an influential organization.   The Houston Area Women’s Center makes a profound impact on the lives of thousands in our community each year, and if this honor gives me an opportunity to talk more about the Women’s Center and the incredible, courageous women we serve, then I’m happy.

5.       Any resolutions that you are excited about, and any that you are dreading?

My single resolution this year just happens to bring both excitement and dread. My 2012 resolution is to get my house on the market and hopefully, sold. I’m excited and looking forward to downsizing to a bungalow in the Heights now that my kids have flown the coop. But after being in the same place for more than ten years, that’s no small undertaking. There’s plenty to dread when you think about clearing out ten years of accumulated stuff in closets, cabinets and drawers, not to mention tackling a number of little maintenance projects. But the excitement outweighs the dread and I’m almost finished with the worst of it. Hopefully, by this time next year, I’ll be settled into my new home and making progress on whatever next year’s resolution will be.

Cheers,